An informational white paper from our research labs:

ENGINEERING TELEPATHY
the science of merlin.org

The research goal of this particular lab within merlin.org has been the engineering of telepathy. It is abundantly clear that human psychic acuity has been diminishing over the centuries. The last reported instance of mass-scale telekinesis occurred early in the first century A.D. Since then, the incidence of psychics and psychic capability has diminished to a level somewhat beneath the critical mass needed to ensure the continuance of naturally-occurring human psychic genes. The causes of this catastrophe are various; predominantly, shadow government-sponsored programs of eugenics ("assisted reproduction"), coordinated rape and mass extermination, along with the more recent application of high technology to the suppression of pertinent energies.

Our task has therefore been to attempt to reproduce in the laboratory, what Mother Nature has clearly been unable to reproduce in the real world. Our ultimate goal: To engineer a select psychic elite who will wrest control of the planet and achieve a psychic nirvana on earth.

Economic background
Recent downsizing in government-sponsored academic and scientific research labs, especially in the United Kingdom, France and the former Soviet Union, has been a nightmare for many academics and scientists, but a boon for independent research laboratories such as ourselves: Costly and often classified equipment has come up for auction in the public sector, making independently possible much research which was formerly highly restricted and permitted only under severe, often censorial review frameworks.

Furthermore, economic downturns in the Asian and Middle-Eastern markets have forced ultra high-tech corporations to broaden market accessibility of certain nonpublic technologies, particularly in the biotech and nanotech fields, that are of particular interest to research organizations such as ourselves, and of course to governments such as Iran, Iraq, Libya, Norway, Israel and Switzerland.

As a result of these events, and independent funding from various foreign powers, we have been able to achieve technological capability that empowers research worthy of mention in the same book as giants such as the C.I.A., and the Knights Templar.

Assessing psychic acuity
Our initial research concerned itself with developing a specific test for psychic acuity. Without an accurate gauge of psi-power, scientifically-valid research into improving psychic capability would be impossible.

In 1997, when the last democratically elected French government was ousted by Lionel Jospin's puppet government (controlled ultimately by General Pierre LeFebvre, a radical left-wing traditionalist concerned more with bombs than brains), France's Centre Nationale de la Recherche Scientifique was shut down and its entire assets were auctioned off. During this particular yard sale, we were able to get our hands on a subatomic particle detection system formerly used to analyze the detonation signatures of Soviet nuclear tests.

We have since successfully reapplied this system to the analysis of psychic acuity, at least within certain domains: Microgravitional and EMF disturbances associated with telekinesis, pyrokinesis and traditional telepathy (a.k.a. mental communication) are particularly suited to detection by this equipment. By severing the spinal cords of different animals (typically associated with a telepathic scream) in close proximity to our detector array, we have been able to classify 173 species of the animal kingdom in terms of psychic acuity (results classified). More interestingly, with the assistance of technology auctioned off by the University of Edinburgh, we have been able to graph psychic acuity against developmental maturity using genetic clones to ensure absolute validity. Interestingly, it appears that acuity drops off sharply during initial maturation before rising again with old age. Tests on human subjects appear to agree with this finding, although international legislative handicaps prevent our research progressing beyond the second trimester.

Inducing psychic activity
Armed with sophisticated measuring equipment, our next task was to actively induce psychic activity in human and symian test subjects. Symian test data have previously indicated that the onset of puberty is associated with a marked drop in nascent psychic ability, so several available prepubescent humans and symians (purchased from the former Soviet Union) were earmarked for this experiment.

Using a radiation treatment system (purchased from the British National Health Service during the "New" Labour government's health cutbacks) retrofitted with nanowave emitters and a Cobalt alpha auxiliary positioning beam (the original less-harmful gamma radiation sources were removed prior to sale of the equipment), we were able to precisely stimulate different regions of the test subject brains. By assessing psychic activity in response to activation of different parts of the brain, we successfully identified cortical regions involved in psychic ability (results classified).

Following this identification, we were in a position to experiment with autostimulation of the relevant brain centres. For the human subjects, we used meditative trance states to encourage the individuals to identify the sensations associated with external stimulation of psychic ability, and to then attempt to recreate these sensations without the aid of nanowave excitation. For the symian subjects, we introduced platinum-filament neurons intro the brains, connecting psychic response centers to the pleasure centers, and then confined the subjects to sensory deprivation tanks where other sources of pleasure would be eliminated.

The symian subjects demonstrated a remarkable response to the autofeedback, showing psychic activation levels several orders of magnitude above baseline. Human test subjects were not so forthcoming, however, showing measurable but non-focusable effects in most subjects, and extremely favourable responses in a very small domain percentage.

PART II
To be released upon completion of security review.

Have you conducted similar research? Do you have findings to share (subject to appropriate confidentiality agreements.) Contact us at research@merlin.org with details.